Creating from the Window

American Idol 2011 Top 2 Scotty McCreery, Lauren Alaina Finale

2011-05-25T21:28:00.000-06:00

Tonight is American Idol 2011 Top 2 Grand Finale. Yes, American Idol fans, as you’ve heard. This moment has finally arrived. The American Idol 2011 Top 2 country singers, Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina, and viewers as well wait patiently for the results. Even I’m sitting here in my living room writing away and asking myself, “Who will be crowned the American Idol 2011? Who will be the next American Idol?” My bets are on Scotty McCreery. What about you? Are your bets on Scotty McCreery or Lauren Alaina?

American Idol 2011 Top 2 Scotty McCreery, Lauren Alaina Performances

2011-05-24T22:17:00.000-06:00

Tonight on American Idol 2011, the Top 2, Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina each performed 3 songs. Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina’s performances were incredible. But my favorite one is still Scotty McCreery. Here are what the judges, Randy Jackson, Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler had to say about American Idol 2011 Top 2 performances.

American Idol 2011 Top 2 Lauren Alaina, Scotty McCreery Update

2011-05-23T22:10:00.000-06:00

Here we are at the Top 2 week of American Idol 2011. Lauren Alaina and Scotty McCreery will perform one last week on American Idol 2011. Lauren Alaina and Scotty McCreery will perform Tuesday instead of Wednesday. Results will be shown on Wednesday night.

American Idol 2011 Top 3 Elimination Results

2011-05-19T21:30:00.000-06:00

Here we are on elimination results night. First, on American Idol 2011 Top 3, Ryan Seacrest talks to the Top 3 contestants about their homecoming event. After viewing the Top 3 homecomings, Ryan finally reveals the results.

American Idol 2011 Top 3 Scotty McCreery, Haley Reinhart Performances

2011-05-18T22:54:00.000-06:00

Hello American Idol 2011Top 3 fans! I’m back after having technical difficulties. Tonight on American Idol 2011 Top 3, each contestant performed 3 songs. Singers performed one song of their choice, one song chosen by Jimmy Iovine, and a third song chosen by the judges Jennifer Lopez, Randy Jackson and Steven Tyler. My favorites of tonight’s show are Scotty McCreery and Haley Reinhart.

American Idol 2011 Top 4 Sunday Update

2011-05-08T00:59:00.002-06:00

As we all know, last week on American Idol 2011, Jacob was sent home. Yay! Only 4 contestants remain in the competition. Wow, time flies. James Durbin, Haley Reinhart, Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina will get ready for another tough week on American Idol 2011 Top 4.

American Idol 2011 Top 5 Jacob Lusk Sent Home

2011-05-05T21:18:00.000-06:00

Tonight on American Idol 201 Top 5, Ryan Seacrest reveals to Scotty McCreery that he was never at the bottom 2. James Durbin, Haley Reinhart and Scotty McCreery are safe.

American Idol 2011 Top 5 Haley Reinhart Best Performance

2011-05-04T22:50:00.000-06:00

Tonight on American Idol 2011 Top 5, most of the performances were great. Haley Reinhart’s 1st performance wasn’t as great. But Haley Reinhart took over American Idol’s stage with her 2nd performance.

Osama Bin Laden Killed

2011-05-02T18:34:00.000-06:00

On Sunday evening, news all over the world announced the killing of Osama bin Laden. Unbelievable! I thought after almost 10 years Osama bin Laden was never going to be captured or killed. I probably wasn’t the only one who thought this. Here’s an updated information on the killing of Osama bin Laden.

American Idol 2011 Top 5 Saturday Update

2011-04-30T14:44:00.000-06:00

Here we are at the end of Carole King week. Thursday night on American Idol 2011, I was expecting Jacob Lusk to be sent home, but instead, America sent Casey Abrams home. Well, it’s time to recuperate from that loss, and let’s welcome a new week with the Top 5 performers. Here are the American Idol 2011 updates for the coming week.

American Idol 2011 Jacob Lusk Should Have Been Sent Home Not Casey Abrams

2011-04-28T21:29:00.000-06:00

Tonight on American Idol 2011, Ryan Seacrest asks Haley Reinhart to join him on stage. Ryan tells Haley she’s safe. Then, we have James Durbin who is also safe, which is not a surprise at all. Now, we have Jacob Lusk, Scotty McCreery, Lauren Alaina and Casey Abrams in the middle of the stage. Ryan Seacrest tells Lauren Alaina she’s safe. Wow, no girl is going home tonight either?

American Idol 2011 James Durbin Best Performance

2011-04-28T00:04:00.002-06:00

Tonight on American Idol 2011, contestants performed songs from Carole King. I must say that I was pretty impressed with all the performances. But the one performance that stood out the most for me was James Durbin’s.

American Idol 2011 Top 6 Sunday Update

2011-04-24T20:08:00.000-06:00

We’ve reached the end of a not-surprising week, and the beginning of a new one. As we all know, Thursday night on American Idol, Jacob Lusk, Stefano Langone and Haley Reinhart were in the bottom 3. Stefano Langone was sent home.

As I said in my previous post, Jacob Lusk should’ve been sent home on Thursday not Stefano Langone. This week on American Idol Top 6, I think Jacob Lusk should start packing because he’s going to be the next one gone.

American Idol 2011 Jacob Lusk, Stefano Langone, Haley Reinhart Bottom 3

2011-04-21T22:44:00.000-06:00

This is 21st century week on American Idol 2011. Tonight, Ryan Seacrest says to Casey Abrams and Jacob Lusk to stand up. Ryan sends Jacob Lusk to be in the bottom 3. Then, after David Cook’s performance, Ryan Seacrest brings Lauren Alaina, James Durbin and Stefano Langone to the center of the stage. Stefano Langone is in the bottom 3. It’s not surprising to have Jacob and Stefano in the bottom 3.

American Idol 2011 Top 7 Performances

2011-04-21T01:21:00.000-06:00

Tonight on American Idol, the Top 7 contestants performed songs from the 21st century. James Durbin and Casey Adams’s performances were outstanding as usual. Here are the Top 7 performances and critiques from the judges, Randy Jackson, Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler.

American Idol 2011 Top 7 Update

2011-04-16T21:33:00.000-06:00

Thursday night on American Idol, Haley Reinhart, Stefano Langone and Paul McDonald were in the bottom 3. Unfortunately, Paul McDonald was sent home packing. Once again, Stefano was saved from elimination. Now, is this guy really lucky or what? On Wednesday night, Paul did a good job performing, “Old Time Rock and Roll.” And Stefano Langone performed, “End of the Road.” Yeah, it should’ve been the end of the road for him not Paul! Don’t you think?

American Idol 2011 Haley Reinhart, Stefano Langone, Paul McDonald

2011-04-14T22:59:00.000-06:00

Tonight on American Idol 2011, Haley Reinhart is the first contestant Ryan Seacrest sends to be in the bottom 3. Then, it’s between Jacob Lusk, Paul McDonald and Stefano Langone. Ryan Seacrest sends Stefano Langone to join Haley Reinhart in the bottom 3.

American Idol 2011 Casey Abrams, James Durbin Outstanding Performances

2011-04-14T00:41:00.002-06:00

Tonight’s performances on American Idol were pretty good. But the ones that stood out the most for me are Casey Abrams and James Durbin’s performances. Both Casey Abrams and James Durbin brought something to the stage that no one has ever done before on American idol.

American Idol 2011 Top 8 Sunday Update

2011-04-10T13:37:00.000-06:00

Last week on American Idol 2011, Pia Toscano, Stefano Langone and Jacob Lusk were at the bottom 3. Pia Toscano, one of the most talented contestants on American Idol was sent home packing.

Thursday night has been one of the most shocking and devastating episodes on this season of American Idol 2011, especially for the judges, Jennifer Lopez, Randy Jackson and Steven Tyler, and of course, the fans.

While people are still recuperating from the shock, the Top 8 contestants on American Idol are coming back this week for another roller coaster ride.

American Idol 2011 Pia Toscano Record Deal?

2011-04-10T00:23:00.000-06:00

By now, you all know about the injustice that has been done to Pia Toscano on American Idol, Thursday night. Somehow viewers forgot to vote for Pia Toscano. How in the world does that happen?

American Idol 2011 Pia Toscano Shouldn't Have Been Sent Home

2011-04-09T00:08:00.002-06:00

As we all know, this week on American Idol 2011, the Top 9 contestants performed songs from the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Well, Thursday night, Ryan Seacrest announced that Pia Toscano was the one going home. What? Pia Toscano is going home? The judges from American Idol, Randy Jackson, Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler, and the audience were shocked. The whole America was shocked. I’m still shocked.

American Idol 2011 Stefano Langone Should Have Been Sent Home Not Pia Toscano

2011-04-08T00:42:00.000-06:00

This week on American Idol 2011, the Top 9 contestants performed songs from the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Tonight, Stefano Langone, Pia Toscano and Jacob Lusk are at the bottom 3. America was shocked to hear Ryan Seacrest announcement that Pia Toscano was going to be the one leaving tonight. Okay, first people voted off Casey Abrams from the competition, but thanks to the judges that didn’t happened. And now, viewers voted off Pia Toscano? What’s going on here America?

American Idol 2011 Scotty McCreery, Elvis

2011-04-07T00:12:00.000-06:00

As we all know, this is Rock & Roll Hall of Fame week. Tonight on American Idol 2011, Scotty McCreery performed, “That’s All Right, Mama” by Elvis Presley. Yeah, baby! America was in for a surprise when Scotty McCreery came out on stage not only singing, but also being funny, and even showing some moves…wow!

American Idol 2011 Top 9 Sunday Update

2011-04-03T01:08:00.000-06:00

This is an Update for the end of an exciting week, and the beginning of a new one. Last week on American Idol 2011, we had hits from Elton John’s collection performed by the Top 11 contestants now Top 9. On Thursday night, Naima Adedapo, Thia Megia, and Paul McDonald were at the bottom 3. We watched Naima Adedapo and Thia Megia say their goodbyes to American Idol, which was no shocker.

American Idol 2011 '" Scotty McCreery, Pia Toscano

2011-04-01T23:20:00.000-06:00

This week on American Idol, Scotty McCreery and Pia Toscano both saved right at the beginning of the show. I was not surprised to see them saved from elimination once again because they are both excellent performers.

American Idol 2011 '" Naima Adedapo, Thia Megia and Paul McDonald

2011-03-31T23:59:00.000-06:00

Tonight on American Idol was, I’d say, quite predictable. I’ll give it to you straight. Naima Adedapo, Thia Megia and Paul McDonald were at the bottom 3. Paul McDonald...

American Idol 2011 - Haley Reinhart Best Performance

2011-03-31T00:40:00.000-06:00

Tonight, on American Idol, the 20-year-old Haley Reinhart steals the show with, “Bennie and the Jets” by Elton John. Haley totally owned the stage. She performed with confidence, style and with that sexy voice of hers. Haley Reinhart posed sexy on top of the...

American Idol 2011 - Casey Abrams Brilliant

2011-03-30T23:28:00.000-06:00

Last week on America Idol, Casey Abrams was saved by the judges, Randy Jackson, Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez after being voted off. Well, tonight, guess what America? Casey Abrams has proved you wrong.

American Idol 2011 - Stefano Langone Not Good Enough (Bottom 3)

2011-03-29T22:52:00.000-06:00

As we all know, Stefano Langone, contestant on American Idol 2011 was on the bottom 3 last week. He's obviously not good enough for America, especially when you compare Stefano with...

American Idol 2011 - Stefano Langone Singing in Police Car

2011-03-29T22:50:00.000-06:00

Contestant, Stefano Langone on American Idol, sings not only on stage, but also sings in a police car. Yep, like you heard. The Washington State report shows...

American Idol 2011 - Season 10 Update

2011-03-27T15:23:00.000-06:00

Las week on American Idol 2011, Casey Abrams was voted off by America, but the judges, Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler and Randy Jackson saved the day by using their only save of the season. Everyone was as shocked as I was. Well, Season 10 is back this week. Get ready for...

American Idol 2011 - Thia Megia Not Good Enough (Bottom 3)

2011-03-25T22:38:00.001-06:00

As we all know, this week on American Idol 2011 the bottom 3 are: Thia Megia, Stefano Langone and Casey Abrams. Thia Megia? Well, I'm not surprised. Don't get me wrong, Thia did quite well on Wednesday. But...

American Idol 2011 - Casey Abrams Shouldn't Have Been Sent Home

2011-03-25T01:01:00.000-06:00

As soon as Ryan Seacrest, host on American Idol, revealed the bottom 3, Thia Megia, Stefano Langone and Casey Abrams, I couldn't believe it. I was shocked to see Casey Abrams in the bottom 3. I could see Randy Jackson's face of disappointment...

American Idol 2011 - Haley Reinhart and Naima Adedapo Shine like Stars

2011-03-25T00:57:00.001-06:00

This is Motown week on American Idol 2011. Let me say that tonight on American Idol was Unbelievable! I can't really say anything bad on any contestant on tonight's show. On the contrary, each contestant brought everything they got to the table. Each contestant on American Idol brought their own unique style and personality, which make it difficult to judge.

American Idol 2011-Thia Megia Should've Been Sent Home Not Karen Rodriguez

2011-03-20T19:28:00.003-06:00

As we all know, Karen Rodriguez was sent home even after performing, "Hero," by Mariah Carey one last time for the judges, Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler and Randy Jackson. In my opinion, Thia Megia should've been sent home not Karen Rodriguez.

American Idol 2011- Haley Reinhart Could've Been Sent Home Instead of Karen Rodriguez

2011-03-20T19:23:00.000-06:00

Thursday on American Idol, Karen Rodriguez was sent home unfortunately. But being in the bottom 3, Haley Reinhart could've been sent home instead of Karen Rodriguez.

2009-06-15T08:49:00.001-06:00

In Honor of National Poetry Month: I Don't Need a Couple of Cheeseburgers, Poem
I feed from your lips that leave the flavor of caramel around mine.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1680610/in_honor_of_national_poetry_month_i.html

2009-06-15T08:48:00.001-06:00

In Honor of National Poetry Month: I Don't Care Anymore, Poem
I don't care if there's a full moon, and if it's red or not, if the stars don't shine, if Pluto is no longer a planet...
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1678813/in_honor_of_national_poetry_month_i.html

2009-05-19T15:08:00.002-06:00

How to Install a Garage Door Control Console
Purchase a Craftsman Belt-Drive Garage Door Opener if you haven't installed one yet. Most garage door openers come with a control console. The opener should also include an automatic garage opener bracket and strengthener.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1751244/how_to_install_a_garage_door_control.html

2009-05-19T15:05:00.001-06:00

Health Concerns in Working with Metals
Metalworking can be a dangerous occupation, especially if you're exposed to arsenic. Arsenic is an extremely toxic metal. It can be found in high levels where there are high amounts of water, soil and rocks.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1752116/health_concerns_in_working_with_metals.html

2009-05-08T12:29:00.001-06:00

Warren Zevon's the Top Album
Warren Zevon composed dark and humorous songs of political and sometimes historical themes. Zevon was among the best new artists to have emerged in the 1970's. In 1978, Zevon made a breakthrough with the released of his third album, "Excitable Boy."
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1710035/warren_zevons_the_top_album.html

Top 10 Songs by Shakira

2009-05-04T12:32:00.002-06:00

Top 10 Songs by Shakira
In 2001, Shakira made a breakthrough in the United States with the release of the music album, "Laundry Service," which she sold over 20 million copies worldwide. Shakira has won 8 Latin Grammy Awards and 2 Grammy Awards.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1678565/top_10_songs_by_shakira.html

2009-05-04T12:30:00.001-06:00

2009-04-25T17:35:00.001-06:00

National Poetry Month: Tonight, Poem
Your lips melt in mine and shower my body with kisses like raindrops fall on the ground.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1683902/national_poetry_month_tonight_poem.html

2009-04-24T14:19:00.001-06:00

Vacation Time (Finally)

2007-05-22T23:12:00.000-06:00

I saw him standing in front of me as we both waited in line for the Spiderman 3D ride. He wasn't blonde, tall (or at least taller than me) and built, so I didn't think much of him until he turned around, and started talking to me about how long the wait had been. He asked me who did I come with and if I lived in Orlando. I told him I was on vacation with my sister and will be going back to El Paso in a week. He said he came from Austin and wanted to bring his kid to the theme parks. I asked him how many kids he had. He said one. I asked him about his wife and why she didn't come along. He told me he had been divorced for four years.

"How about you, are you married?" He asked.
"Nope," I said.
"Well, where's your boyfriend?"
"I don't have one."
"You don't have one?" He asked as he focused his eyes on mine.

We then talked about the humidity and how in July it gets even worst. We both agreed that we were lucky to be in Orlando in the month of May because it gets hotter and more humid in other months. And the theme parks are so crowded with people that you can't even walk freely without bumping into someone. Your lucky if you can just hop on one ride.

"So where are you staying at?" He asked.
"At Parc Corniche," I responded.
"Is it far from here?"
"Yeah, is kind of far, but we take the shuttle from the hotel."
"Oh, that's cool," he said.

We finally arrived to the front of the line.

"Do you want to get together sometime before you leave? Have lunch maybe?" He asked.
"Sure, let me give my cell number." I took a pen out of my purse, and holding his hand I wrote my number on it.

To be continued...

By Olga L. Chacon

Besame

2007-04-09T19:26:00.006-06:00

Besame, besame, besame
como tu quieras
y en la parte que tu quieras
Porque manana ya no me veras.

Desaparecere tan rapido
como una hoguera
que se apaga con la lluvia.
Estare mil lunas lejos de ti.
Las cartas que escribiras
nunca llegaran
porque no sabras de mi.

Pero, besame, besame ahora
y en donde tu quieras
porque sera la ultima vez que lo hagas.
Manana mis labios
estaran cerrados con candado,
y botare la llave
sin hacer copia alguna para ti.

Al fin libre estare
de tus sucios pensamientos,
de tu olor a chancla,
de tu aliento de vaca,
de tu cuerpo sin musculo,
de tu cerebro de hormiga,
y de tu cara de frankeistein.

Besame, besame, besame
como tu quieras
porque manana
te dejare con las ganas.
Y cuento los segundos
para el dia en que me esfume
de tus malas vibraciones.

Conocere alguien mas,
buen parecido y formal,
y no un animal como tu.
Te quederas con el deseo
mientras yo me reire de ti.
Te podras ir con otra
que aguante tus mentiras.
Vas a haber que tambien
ira a salir corriendo, huyendo de ti,
y de tu falsa seguridad.

Pero, besame, besame, besame
como tu quieras
y en la parte que tu quieras.
Porque al fin libre estare
de tus sucios pensamientos,
de tu olor a chancla,
de tu aliento de vaca,
de tu cuerpo sin musculo,
de tu cerebro de hormiga,
y de tu cara de Frankeistein.

Besame, besame, besame...

By: Olga L. Chacon

A donde ir?

2007-02-12T19:39:00.000-07:00

Por que se alimentan de mi? Me arrancan el corazon de mi cuerpo como si fuera un juguete y lo cortan en pedazos como un rompecabezas. Asi lo veo arrastrado en el suelo cubierto de sangre negra con un espacio lleno de espinas. Crean abrigos de mi alma, y los usan exponiendolos a la lluvia y a la sequedad del viento...

Voy a desaparecer por un tiempo. Como lo oyen. No se a donde irme, pero por seguro muy lejos del presente. Al futuro no quiero ir porque no me parece muy atractivo llenarme la cabeza de mas molestias. Tengo suficiente con las preocupaciones del presente. Y al pasado? Pues, al pasado lo visito a diario, al menos asi lo siento. Es doloroso caminar hacia atras. Aunque ya lo he vivido, siempre me encuentro con alguna sorpresa. Quiero despegarme de todo aquello que me rodea.

LIONS AND TIGERS, CHILDREN AND DEMONS

2007-01-29T03:41:00.000-07:00

Though I walk with the devil,

I kiss the veil that shrouds thy face, oh Lord

And I feel the love and the joy without which the world could not stand

Vile and base as I am, I am still thy son

But I feel that love is slipping from this world

We are as insects trying to stand against the fury of the tempest

Cruel lust and hateful dominance press up against the walls of my very soul

The air is deafening with the sound of a million lost souls crying out to a Father

whom they believe has abandoned them.

I only ask of you, oh Lord

do your children cry out in vain?

The decision to kill Christian Ernett came fairly easily to Caleb. It was no big thing after all, to take the life of a bleeding sack of obscenity. Caleb just happened to be in the right frame of mind when he heard Christian beating the fuck out of his wife for the billionth time. The Ernetts were the family that lived next door to his shitty, little apartment. There was the husband Christian. There was the wife Linda. And then there was the little girl Samantha.

God she was precious…11 years old with those big brown eyes that saw everything. And that was the problem.

No way in hell that she would be able to block out all the shit that daddy did to mommy. In fact Caleb was pretty sure that daddy forced himself on mommy on a fairly regular basis, probably with Samantha watching. The abuse happened day in, day out.

God knows what else she witnessed living in that tiny wretched little hole with that animal. They could probably afford a lot better on his salary but that would never happen. Not the way he drank and gambled and fucked away their grocery money. Sometimes he would bring prostitutes home. He pissed away all their income on the lowest of vices and it was Samantha who had to pay in the end. Once Christian even stabbed Linda with a kitchen knife. Later in the ER they both claimed that she slipped and fell on it. Hard to believe that they could possibly serve up that crock of shit with a straight face. It didn’t matter though. No one cared. No one did anything. Everyone in the building knew. How could they not? But still, no one did anything. No one picked up the phone. The one time Caleb called the police she denied everything and defended him completely and utterly.

No, Christian would never do anything like that. To hear her talk you would think that her husband was beyond reproach. He was perfect. Christian was a shining example of everything the American male should strive to be. He broke her jaw that same night after the cops left, angry at how she hadn’t been convincing enough. Caleb didn’t call the police anymore after that.
Personally, Caleb thought that Christian was an inhuman pile of dog shit that personified everything that was wrong with the world. Christian beat his wife, cut her , raped her. He was sick. Repulsive. Christian treated women like cattle. Christian was everything the American male should hate and despise.

Eventually Caleb realized that the worse was yet to come. Samantha was a beautiful little girl and soon she would make a beautiful young woman…and it was only a matter of time before Christian would notice that.

Caleb thought that Christian was the purest form of evil that walked the earth. This only goes to show how naïve Caleb really was despite all the things he’d seen in his 26 years of life.

It was a simple thing really and done without any great fanfare. It was an obvious choice really, when you think about it. Make the world a better place. That was how his conscious mind made his decision. But truth be told the decision, the real decision to kill someone does not take place in the realm of the here and now with all the logical synapses in your brain working together to form a logical conclusion. The choice of becoming a murderer is not that easy. The real struggle, the War Within takes place somewhere primal, far beneath any conscious or subconscious mind you can read about in any book. The dilemma is fought out in our dark places. In the farthest reaches of our selves. It is as the saints are fond of saying "a choice of the soul" one that every human on earth no matter how good or how vile is capable of making. Such is the essence of free will.

And that struggle had ended inside Caleb one night when he was awakened by the sound of Christian beating his wife for the billionth time. He just lay there in the dark in his bed with his ear pressed to the paper thin walls that separated their bedrooms.

Sound of fists hitting flesh and breaking bones. Deafening.

But the screaming, the crying, the sobbing was the worse. She kept on pleading and crying out to a God who simply was not there.

He wanted to crawl inside himself then. To run away from this place. In his mind: just pack up, get my things and leave this shitty apartment building. These run down slums. This city with its gloomy skies, its shitty weather, its filthy streets and houses and endless supplies of rundown buildings where the desperate and wretched congregate.

He hated this city. Its streets were crowded and lonely.

In his minds eye he saw himself moving on to the next city and finding something. But he knew better. It would all be the same, just like before. In reality this place was no better and no worse than all the cities that came before it. All the big urban centers were turning into cesspools with the people just crawling around them like parasites. Then there were all those small towns in between. But Caleb didn’t belong there either. Maybe because he’d spent too much time wandering in the big cities. It had seeped into him. He could never wash the filth away. These quite, sleepy, little places could smell the stench of the cesspools on him, and they rejected him like some alien organism that might infect the rest of the colony.

It didn’t matter where he went. All the same.

Everywhere.

And then his mind was forced to come back into the here and now. Reality kept pushing back into his brain. It was like a strobe light at the back of his head and he could do nothing to stop it. The sobbing and crying poured into him till finally he realized that it wasn’t coming from the next room. His own tears and his own snot and his own hell poured down his face. He too cried out in the name of God, though he secretly knew it would do them no good. Not tonight. Tonight was for the devil. He felt something swelling up inside him like it would tear through his chest cavity and it felt like his very soul trembled in his throat. At that moment he sensed that he was coming to his breaking point. Either something in this world had to change or something in his mind would snap. Whichever way it played, something had to give. And he fought, oh Christ did he fight it. With every inch of him he fought to hold on. He clawed at anything that may save him, like an animal. He felt barely human in his desperation. Again, he tried to run away from reality.

He though of his brother. The good son who had gone on to join the seminary, only to be killed senselessly by some fucking junkie. He thought of the conversations they would have. The ones about God. About salvation. Redemption. Forgiveness.

He remembered his brother telling him in that calm slow voice of his how God created us in his image and how each one of us is precious and why we are all deserving of life.

Something stabbed at him when he thought about that.

He clenched his teeth. He shut his eyes. He covered his ears with his hands and tried to curl up into a little ball like doing all that would somehow shield him from what he knew he must become. In the next room things started to get bad.

The screaming got worse as Christian mounted Linda and Samantha begged him to get off her mommy. All it did was drive him on. It excited him. He reveled in the power he held over them. He started to pump away and it lasted no more than 2 min. but it held for an eternity. The moaning and the grunting of his cruel lust mingled with the sobs and the tears of his victims.
Christian, Linda, Samantha, Caleb. In that moment they were all joined together. For a few moments they were all connected. Christian even began to see into Christian himself. You see in Christian’s own mind, there was no difference between what him and Linda were doing now and the way they had made love as teenagers in the back of his beat up old Chevy out by the woods as the rain drizzled onto the lake. To Christian’s own sick perspective, he was doing nothing more than making love to his wife. Taking what is his. She was just another possession, like his T.V. or his sofa.

The steamy, dirty sick cries of " oh, god, oh, god" that Christian made as he approached his climax mingled with the cries of his wife and his child and his neighbor whom he barely knew existed. So that for a brief eternity it seemed to Caleb as if the whole world cried for a God who had forsaken them.

We are all deserving of life. We are all deserving of love. We are all deserving of god’s forgiveness. Mercy and love shall overcome all evil. No sin can never be forgiven.

NO
NO
NO
AND NO

The blade dug deeper into him, the more he began to understand. The more he began to realize the big lie and saw what lay ahead of him. Some part of him tried to hold on to what his saint of a brother had tried to teach him. But no…his brother was wrong.

SOME PEOPLE DO NOT DESERVE TO LIVE.

But still, the War Within raged and burned him until he felt like he would be consumed by it. He entered into that crucible of the soul where he must either allow himself to be transformed or be destroyed.

Just as an eternity neared its end, Christian finally finished and let out one last gasp of animal pleasure. At the same moment his neighbor passed through the crucible next door. It was Caleb Temple who went to sleep that night. It was Caleb temple who awoke to the rage of rape and violence next to the hovel he called a home. It was Caleb temple who closed his eyes to shut out the ugliness of world that had decayed into moral entropy and social collapse. It was Caleb temple who trembled in pain that reached down to the very thing he called his humanity. It was Caleb temple who beat his head against a wall of lies and false comforts till he finally broke through. Caleb temple shut his eyes…and it was Azrael who opened them. Azrael, The Angel of Death. God’s own executioner on earth who would meet out divine retribution.

It was almost as if Christian’s rape of Linda’s body had given birth to Azrael. And if it was that rape that spawned him, then it was Samantha’s cries and sobs that baptized him. In his mind’s eye he saw…everything. She was huddled in the corner with her knees up to her chin, her long dark beautiful hair falling over her face. That pale skin of hers almost shining with the moonlight coming through the window. Her pajamas had pictures of lions and tigers and bears on it. A tiny stuffed monkey that she’d found God knows where was clutched against her chest.

She was dying. Her life was draining away then and there. Any chance of happiness she might have once had was slipping away and getting farther off with each minute she stayed in that house. She would turn into a troubled and confused teenager who would turn to drugs and promiscuity as a way of filling that void in her. She would end up as an exotic dancer or prostitute or junkie or all three. She’d drift from one abusive relationship to the next, each boyfriend hurting her worse than the last. She’d die young, beautiful and unhappy, probably at the hands of a man just like her father. Another broken soul, a life destroyed by the weakness and selfishness of this creature. Another broken soul in a broken world.

The rage inside Caleb burned with a religious fervor.

Eventually the sobbing stopped and Christian dismounted his wife. He rolled over on his side and went to sleep almost immediately. Linda and Samantha followed for the simple reason that they had no choice. Oblivion was their only refuge from the hell of this man. Caleb prayed and prayed that something could still be done to save Samantha from the path that her father had set her on. Even with Christian out of the picture there was still a lot to be done for her.

So then and there Azrael made up his mind. Christain Ernett had to die. Simple as that.

Finally, Caleb drifted off to the best sleep that he’d had in years. He had finally made a good choice and done the right thing. No more wandering, no more being lost. He had finally become a killer for the God he had loved all his life.

And though our hands may be covered in blood
Let it be blood shed in the name of a holy mission
Amen.

By: Fabian Chacon

Stillness (After Denise Levertov's "Intrusion")

2007-01-23T23:29:00.013-07:00

I cut off my loud feet,
and replaced them with quiet ones.

I cut off my running legs,
and attached walking ones.

I cut off my horny vagina,
and connected a puritan one.

I cut off my curvy hips,
and fastened straight ones.

I cut off my big breasts,
and sealed small ones.

I cut off my hugging arms,
and glued shy ones.

I cut off my know-it-all brain,
and pasted a humble one.

I opened my new ears to listen,
and my old ones disappeared.

By: Olga L. Chacon

My Vagina (Unsatisfied)

2007-01-23T23:29:00.009-07:00

Bleeds every month.
Wears red panties during
foreplay.

But every time
she’s visited for
sex,
she's left without an
orgasm…

and longs for
the finger.

By: Olga L. Chacon

Prom Pictures

2007-01-23T23:29:00.004-07:00

Since the day Lorie began to work at State Farm Insurance, she never left her goddamn long black straight hair alone. No matter what time of day, there she was, at it again. I’m surprised it didn’t fall off with all that brushing. I wish it had.

As soon as Lorie saw Daniel in his black Camaro, her eyes opened wide and she licked her lips all around as if she were savoring a chocolate cake. At first, I didn’t think much of it, until later.
“Hey, Ruby is that your man waiting outside in a black Camaro?” Lorie asked me as she rested her hand on her chin, stood up beside her desk and looked through the front window of the office.

“Yeah, he always comes early to pick me up,” I said and rolled my eyes. “I keep telling him not to. I don’t see the point of him having to wait so long when he knows I get off at five. He thinks I’m gonna run away with some other dude.” I placed some files into the bottom drawer of my desk where I always kept my purse.

“How does he look like?” She asked with a smile on her face. “I can’t tell through the tinted windows.”

“I have some pictures.” I got my purse from the bottom drawer, set it on my desk and pulled out three senior prom pictures from my wallet. “Here,” I said and handed them to her.

“He looks nice.” She raised her eyebrows. “And you too of course.” “Does he have a good body?” She asked.

“Oh, yeah,” I replied and took a deep breath.

A year ago, on our senior prom night, Daniel picked me up at six when the party didn’t start till nine. He decided we should go to dinner first and then the prom. Daniel had his black wavy hair combed back. He wore a white shirt with a blue-stripped tie and a blue suit. I had my curly hair down to my shoulders. I wore a long strapless red dress with a three-inch cut on the right side. Daniel drove to Angelino’s Restaurant on the East side. He ordered lasagna and I ordered fettuccini. We talked about taking a year or two off from school and later register for college.

The school’s gym had the walls covered with balloons. One streamer ran high in the air from one corner of the ceiling to the opposite corner. Another streamer ran across the gym from the next corner of the ceiling to the opposite corner. The streamers crossed each other in the middle of the gym and formed an “X.” The chairs had a red bow behind them in the middle, and tables had been covered with white tablecloths.

We walked to the dance floor holding hands. I put my arms around his neck and he placed his hands around my waist. I felt his muscular chest pressed against mine as we moved our feet side to side along with Shania Twain’s song, You’re the One. Daniel confessed he was afraid I would leave him, and go to the prom with someone else. That’s why he picked me up early with the excuse that he wanted us to go out for dinner.

“Why did you think that, silly? I asked.
“I heard rumors.”
“What rumors?” I asked.
“That you might be going with someone else.” I reached out for his lips and kissed him.

“He must really like you,” said Lorie.
“I guess.”
“He has a really nice car," said Lorie. "I bet you go cruising all the time.”
“Yeah, it’s nice. I’m used to it. I have my own car, but Daniel wants me to ride with him since we both go in to work at eight in the morning. So I just do, you know, whatever.”

Half an hour later, Roy, the UPS guy with muscular arms, came inside the office to deliver a package for Rebecca, my boss. He handed me a clipboard to sign for it, but Lorie jumped out of her chair.
“I’ll sign,” she extended her hand. Roy walked over to Lorie’s desk and handed it to her. She looked at him straight in the eyes for a few seconds, winked and smiled at him. She gave him back the clipboard. Roy looked at her, smiled and left.

“Hey, you flirty girl,” I said.
“Oh, that’s nothing,” she said brushing her hair.

Suddenly, Rebecca called me on the phone and asked me for three clients’ files. I then left my desk and hurried down the hallway to the file room. I handed the files to her, and walked back into the office. Lorie grinned at me and continued updating files into the computer.

On Friday nights, Daniel and I always caught a movie and maybe have dinner afterwards. This time we went to go see Mulan Rouge. When the writer confessed his love to the lady, I couldn’t help leaning on Daniel’s shoulder. I started kissing his neck.

“Wait, babe, I’m gonna miss this part,” he said. It never bothered him before. Why suddenly was he so interested in this stupid movie? So I stopped trying.

“Do you want to go eat somewhere?” I asked.
“Where you want to go?”
“How about Chilli’s?” I said getting inside the car.
“Okay.”
“Gee don’t sound so excited,” I said.
“That’s where you want to go, right?” He started the car.
“Well, yeah, but not if you don’t want to.”
“I don’t care,” he replied.

On our way to Chilli’s, I reached out my hand to turn the radio on.

“Turn it off,” he said and moved my hand.

One morning, Daniel’s mom woke up with her leg swollen up to her knee. Daniel drove her to the emergency room at Providence Hospital. One of the doctors said she had a blood clot. Since she weighs three hundred pounds, her weight might’ve been the cause of the clot. She had to be admitted in the medical unit in the sixth floor. The nurses injected her large doses of Comadin per day for eight days to thin out the blood.

“Why so quiet?” I asked Daniel.
“I don’t feel like talking.” He lowered his head. I had to drag the words out of his mouth just to tell me what happened.

“What’s wrong with you today?” I asked as I lowered the window. “Are you okay? Are you having problems at work or home? What is it?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing, okay?” His forehead wrinkled.
“You’re not yourself today, Daniel. I don’t care what you say. Babe, you can tell me. Maybe I can help and--”
“Ruby?” He looked at me straight in the eye. “Remember those pictures that we took on our senior prom night?”
“Yeah, why?” I wondered why he asked me.
“Do you have them?” He asked.
“Of course, why, you wanna see them?”
“I just want to look at them.” His forehead got more wrinkled.
“I’m sure I have them here somewhere,” I said searching through my purse.
“You won’t find them,” he parked right in front of Chilli’s.
“What?”

“You threw them away, remember?” He raised his voice. “Here.” He reached into his back pocket of his brown slacks and pulled out his wallet. “I have them. After you dumped them in the trash, someone picked them up. Look, they’re torn in half.”

“Huh?” I raised my eyebrows.
“Are you seeing someone else Ruby?” His eyes turned red. “Is that what it is?”
“But… I have no idea how that happened, someone must of …”
“Yeah right, like they’re going to suddenly appear in the trash.”
“You have to believe me,” I said and tapped his shoulder.
“You didn’t answer my question.” He lifted his arm and pushed my hand away. “Well, I guess I don’t need an answer. I already know.”

“Take me home.” I raised my hands to covered my face. “I hope he cools off by tomorrow,” I thought.

When I got to work the next morning, Lorie was sitting at her desk brushing her hair, like always.
“You brought your car today?” Lorie asked me looking through the window.
“Yeah, Daniel’s upset at me. I think we broke up. He claims that someone gave him our prom pictures that I supposedly threw away. And now he swears that I’m seeing someone else. I can’t believe he doesn’t trust me. Damn, I hate him.”

“All men are assholes, Ruby. They make up some shit like that ‘cause they’re afraid of a real confrontation, that way they blame it all on you and make you look like a real bitch. I’m sorry, Ruby, that it had to be this way.”

“Don’t be, I’m fine,” I said. “He’ll get over it.”

Daniel hadn’t come to my work for three weeks now. It was already five o’clock when I heard a car parked in front of the office.

“Well, time to go,” Lorie said as she dropped the files on her desk and grabbed her purse.
“Bye,” I said and she was already out the door. I looked outside the window and my mouth opened as I saw Lorie get into Daniel’s car.

Lorie came in the next morning with a smile on her face and sparkles in her eyes.
“You look like you had a good night," I said grinding my teeth.
“Yeah, it was quite a night,” she sat in her chair.
“I bet it was, with somebody else’s boyfriend,” I yelled.
“What do you mean?” Lorie’s smile disappeared from her face.
“You went out with Daniel. I saw you getting into his car yesterday after work.”
“You guys are not together anymore.” She stood up.
“You tore our prom pictures and showed them to Daniel.” I wanted to slap her. “You wanted Daniel for yourself!”

After I got off from work I called Daniel. I told him I needed to talk to him about Lorie, but he said he had to go. He was meeting someone at nine in Dance Club 101. I figured it was Lorie. I needed to get there before she did. I grabbed my purse and keys, and drove to the club. As I drove through downtown, I ran a red light and a stop sign. I was lucky no cars came from the right or left.

“He has to know Lorie got those pictures from my purse and torn them in half. She wanted to break us up,” I thought.

I went inside Dance Club 101 and saw Daniel standing by the entrance.
“Ruby, what are you doing here?”
“Daniel, we gotta talk.”

As Daniel stood in front of the club, Lorie arrived. She approached him and her eyes opened wide when she saw me come out from the front door.

“Looking for someone?” I said and placed my arms around his waist.

By: Olga L. Chacon

The Magician

2007-01-23T23:29:00.003-07:00

By: Sergio Chacon

Temper

2007-01-23T23:29:00.002-07:00

By: Sergio Chacon

The Sun

2007-01-23T23:29:00.001-07:00

By: Sergio Chacon

Strength

2007-01-23T23:29:00.000-07:00

By: Sergio Chacon

TAKE MY HAND

2006-12-27T17:41:00.001-07:00

Mathew, lets talk, you and I. We can have one of our little chats. The one’s you like so much. I apologize if I don’t bother to tickle your balls first, warm you up with a little of my usual conversational foreplay. So I’m sorry, no witty little comments about the latest (and ghastly) societal trends. No political commentary. Not even a somewhat bland and sarcastically obvious remark about our recent heat wave. No, no, no not today. Just for today we’re like an old married couple where the husband forgets about the romance and simply proceeds to the intercourse.

You are not going to like this…but you will thank me later.

Now, we get right down to the hard and nasty. I have a question for you. Where were you last night? Hmmmm?

At home watching TV were you? Fell asleep on the couch did you? Alone?
Oh, I especially like that last little touch. Giving it a hint of self deprecation so that your lie rings more true…

What? You thought I didn’t’ know? What, were you afraid to tell me? As if I wouldn’t find out on my own. Tsk tsk tsk, what ever shall we do with you Mathew? What ever shall we do? You knew I wouldn’t believe you. That I would know, right? You were just hoping that I would pretend not to, let it go, make it easier on both of us. I try to help, I really do, but quite frankly you make it difficult sometimes. Especially when you want us to feed each other bullshit. Bullshit’s one of the few games I don’t like to play. Unless it’s with a woman. And despite some of your behavior, you’re no fucking woman.

You were at the park again weren’t you? Yes, I thought so. What were you doing? Thinking? Walking? Praying? Bicycling? No.

You were indulging in a bit of voyeurism. Yes quite lovely wasn’t it? Watching pretty little high school girls getting groped by their Neanderthal boyfriends. It must be infuriating, knowing how you never had that. Never will.

Does it get you hard Mathew? To spy on little boys and girls groping each other, kissing and doing all the things you missed out on? Course your adolescence wasn’t like most boys was it? No yours was so much more… well lets not get into that. No need to beat a dead horse.
Oh , but that hard on. It doesn’t last does it? You touch yourself. Imagining that you’re in there with her. Being human.

You’re literally on the outside looking in. I do so hate it when a metaphor is made literal in such an obvious way. You, wishing so desperately for some semblance of normalcy and intimacy. Longing for whatever it is you think is out there for you.

Ejaculation brings you a little bit of relief. But then what?

Your left with your emptiness and a puddle of your cum. All alone in the dark, binoculars in hand, limp dick in the other…that sad little longing look in your eyes. Wishing, praying, hoping that thing were different, that you could be like them. That you could’ve had something when you were their age. Or that you had something now. Pathetic.

Times like these the game board is laid out in front of you, clear as day isn’t it? The whole world. And your place in it. You see yourself the way God sees you in that moment. Dirty, filthy, little middle aged pervert. Sick, sad broken man lying in a puddle of his own cum. Destined to die a virgin. Pathetic and longing to have what he never can. Freak. Geek. Monster. Queer. You hear them saying it. Thinking it. All of them.

And then it comes. Oh God does it come. Pure. Black. And pounding. The rage just comes. You don’t know what to do with it do you? So you do the only thing you know how to do…you start again what you just finished. Harder and harder, faster and faster. You try and kill it but you can’t. It does you no good. Your little friend isn’t’ your friend anymore. Instead your limp dick just sits there and laughs at you. Fucking laughs at how pathetic you are. You piece of shit! You don’t enjoy it! There’s no pleasure in it for you! So why do you do it? Only God knows why and he hasn’t been there to answer your questions in a long, long time. But yet you sit there and you continue to jerk off until it hurts and God it hurts soooo bad.

But you continue, until finally it can squeeze out a pathetic little drop of semen in your trousers. You don’t even bother to bring a wipe rag for your cum do you? Goddamn animal. No fucking shame. Then what?

Fat man starts to cry. Like fucking clockwork. How long have you been doing this little ritual? Night after night. You could set your watch to it. Self loathing doesn’t even begin to cover it does it? There’s no word for how you feel in that moment. It’s all laid out in front of you. You can’t escape it.

A fat man sobbing into his hands, crying out to an empty fucking world. Hating what he’s allowed the world to turn him into. Crying out to his God but finding shit. Nothing but shit as far as the eye can see. You look at your shitty little job, your shitty little life, alone in that shitty little apartment. Day in and day out, the loneliness moving in on you. Crushing you. Suffocating you.

Your life is nothing. It’s meaningless. Friends, relationships, careers, you've tried, oh how have you tried, but none of it worked for you did it? You’re not built for all that are you? Nothing could ever love you! You’re broken inside and you know it! You go day by day pretending to be like the rest of them and maybe you’re able to fool some of them but you can’t fool me and you sure as hell can’t fool your self! This isn’t the life you were meant to live Mathew! It just isn’t! It doesn’t even matter if you choose me over Him. All roads eventually lead down the same place. You know it’s true. You know what’s going to happen.

One of these warm sticky, lonely night you’re going to be out there again and you’re gonna sob just a little too hard. You’ll forget to turn off the light in your car. You’ll do something stupid. Something. They will hear you. They will see you. That macho prick will come to investigate. And then what? They will discover you for the pathetic stinking loser that you are. The lonely pervert who has to resort to masturbating at a lover’s lane just to grasp at something resembling humanity. Trying to catch a glimpse of intimacy like some of it can fucking rub off on him. It’s not a fucking butterfly asshole! You can’t just catch it and put it in a bottle.

Fucking idiot. What did you think would happen? You thought that you could play this little game without it escalating further? We both know what comes next. The shame. The guilt. The desperation… the rage oh that rage, you will finally have somewhere to put it. You will try to stop it even as you love unleashing it. So what will it be? A large rock? A tree branch? That pocket knife that you so conveniently keep with you all the time. Your bare hands?! You stud you.

Whatever it is the boy will go down first. He’s the biggest threat . That won’t take long, he’s just an obstacle, he’ll be over quick.

But the girl. Oh yes with him gone the girl will be all yours. Yes, that’s what you want. That’s what you’ve wanted all along isn’t it? Secretly deep down you've been praying for this day to come. You’ve been praying to me.

You finally have her all to your self. But be careful, you don’t want to spoil it, make it all over too soon. A man like you wants to savor, to enjoy. Finally after all these years you finally have a real live girl in your arms, one that can never run away, or leave you, or make fun of you or reject you or remind you of what you really are. For once things are going your way. You’re crying Mathew, is something wrong? Does the truth hurt? Does it sting? Does it bite? Do you bite her? You relish it don’t you? How she kicks and screames and cries...does she cry for her mother? I bet she does. I bet you enjoy it tremendously. You never much cared for your mother, did you? The things she did to you when you were just a little boy…

But that’s all over now isn’t it? Finally you have her, you possess her. Nothing can stop you. You relish how she cries. You tear off the clothes. You slash. You bite. You hurt. You cut. It doesn’t matter. Because at the end of the night finally you’ll no longer be a virgin. You finally popped your cherry, who knows maybe hers too.. Not very likely though, what with girls nowadays. If you want virgin pussy nowadays you’re gonna have to start strolling by middles schools and even then who knows? But that’s for another day. Let’s focus on that special night. Because finally after all the ridicule. All the rejection. All the hurt and the filth. And the rage and the impotence and the shame of living with what you are.

You have been redeemed. You are an emperor and you have a poor helpless little girl in front of you. . She can do nothing to resist you. You can pump away at her a few more times if you want. She’s yours. You can kill her outright then and there. Oh no. But you won’t, no you wouldn’t, would you? You’re going to take her with you.

Well why not, who’s going to stop you?. You’re an emperor. And if an emperor wants to have a harem filled with sex slaves…will that is within his right isn’t it? Nothing can stop you now. Go ahead, take her, they’ll look for her. They’ll try and find you. They won’t. I’ll protect you. See, God can’t give you what I can. I can give you power. Control. I can make them fear you. I can turn you into the kind of creature you always wanted to become. The monster you were meant to be.

No more meek. No more meager. No more pretending. No more. So don’t cry, don’t cry Mathew, don’t cry out to a God that doesn’t love you. A God who doesn’t give a shit about you.

Mathew? Mathew, stop crying. It’s going to be ok. Where is the girl? Where is the girl? Your basement? Is she still alive? Have you fed her yet? Will anyone hear her scream? Is it safe? Can she get away?

Good. You did good. This is just the beginning. I’m going to give you a harem. An entire harem all to yourself. You’ll never be lonely again. They’ll all be lined up, waiting for you in your cellar. Every night. As many as you want. Chained to the wall and there for you. You just have to take them. One by one. Just take them Mathew. Stop crying.

He can’t give you what I can. He won’t protect his flock. Just take my hand Mathew. Just take my hand. There, that’s it. Doesn’t it feel so beautiful? What you and I have? Believe me, everything will be different from now on. Yes, that’s right, just take my hand.

It’s ok Mathew. It’s ok. You can stop crying now. Listen to me. Mathew…look at me. Look at me. Mathew… I love you.

By: Fabian Chacon

LOVE

2006-12-27T17:41:00.000-07:00

Time to make love to that corpse again. Her name is Misty, and even though she’s got a stripper name she’s actually a very pretty teacher’s aid from South Texas. She was driving to California to visit family when her car broke down and she got stranded by the side of the road. That’s when I found her.

She could’ve been a model. She really could’ve been, she’s really a very pretty girl. That red from the slash in her throat looks lovely against that milk white neck. I lean in, meaning to taste just a drop of her blood.

But the mouth, it’s own animal, has it’s own plans. It wants to explore it’s new territory. It stops here and there just long enough to do what it does best. Suck. Bite. Nibble. Lick. Suck. My hands are all over her even though I said I’d pace myself. I can’t help it, her body is so…

Oh god it can’t possibly feel this good for this long and still leave you human. So you stop fighting it but you don’t unleash it. You just hold it on that threshold. That razor’s edge between heaven and Hell. I promise myself I’ll live no where else from now on. But I always say that, no one can keep that promise. Like I said, it’s inhuman.

I look up at Heaven like He can help me. As if he made some patron saint just for my kind. Some little sacrament to let the perverts of this world transcend themselves.

We carved out monuments on each others skin. Her with her nails when she tried to fight back. Me when I mutilated her body with by hunting knife. She’s my perfect angel that I tore down from the sky and I want to love her, even if it’s just for one night.

Sometimes you get an image of yourself. What you must look like when God sees you. He sees a junkie who couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. And why would I?

I think of Christ on the Cross and I know I wanna put someone on there someday. But not today.

Oh god, I’m all over her, around her, in her.

The Inquisition would’ve burned you at the stake, and rightfully so. You deserve the worst kind of Hell this world has to offer it’s monsters and you revel in it. That’s God’s voice calling out from the burning bush, casting me out of His Kingdom. I only laugh. I ran away from that years ago.

When I was 11 my aunt was my babysitter and she would faun all over me even as I plotted to steal a twenty from her purse and stared at her enormous breasts. They practically spilled out of her black lacy bra as she went around the house in that skimpy little robe. It was leopard print .Very tacky. Bending over here and there, giving a boy his first glimpse of the great treasures this world had to offer if only he would take them. She smoked too many cigarettes and wore too much makeup. Her breathe always smelled a little of bourbon. But back to those breasts, they were really something, ample and full and Jesus when she wore those black stockings it just completed her whole sluttish ensemble. Attractive in the cheapest sort of way. I tend to like classier women but there’s a place for it. I’m no snob.

Some times I would sit and stare as she sunbathed. She pretended not to notice. I was eyeing the borders of the Kingdom even then, plotting my daring escape. Even then I longed to be free while the adults in my life were putting me in a Catholic boarding school. A place you put kids in because prisons are full. People like me tend to thrive in such environments, but mostly I was bored. This suits me a lot better.

I ended up fucking my aunt when I was 13. She wasn’t my first but definitely one of my best. I videotaped it and later blackmailed her with it. I got $5,000 out of it and still kept on fucking her. She was into it. She secretly liked being dominated. Something her faggot of a husband could never understand. Mostly because he was too much of a pansy to admit to him self that he wanted that too. Men love to hurt women just as much as women like being hurt, they just want to do it in a context that is acceptable to their conscious. Make it safe. Make it clean. Playing pretend games where no one can really get hurt. Fuzzy handcuffs and simulated rape. Fucking hilarious to me how people can pretend to be satisfied with that schoolboy bullshit. Too afraid to take the plunge all the way in, so they just dip their toe in the fiery lake. Ah, to be a child again. Leaps and bounds ahead of the stupid adults.

Misty’s propped up in a chair and as I get on my knees to eat her cunt (that’s eat as in bite, chew, swallow, digest) I’m reminded of a painting I first saw when I was 16. A slave, beaten and broken, kneels at the feet of his naked and beautiful Goddess. She twists her head back and laughs, cruelly mocking his worship. She is absolutely gorgeous. She is not named in the painting. But I know her. Her name is Entropy and I love her. She is the natural state of the universe. I worship at her feet every day of my life.

Complete and utter submission to your most base desires. There is no greater freedom. This whole act is an obscenity and a monument to her reign. And reign she does, over the hearts of all men though they try to deny it. And see, that’s the Hell of it for the sheep in His flock. I am a vicious and immoral man. But I am still a man, not a monster. As much as you fight it, you know that trembling in some dark corner of your soul lies a man like me.

And you love me. You love me from the bottom of your black little heart. You love me but you pretend not to so you don’t hate yourself for it. Instead you live vicariously through me to spare yourself the guilt. God’s law tries to tear at the evil in you, tear and tear they do. But they can never tear hard enough because you would sooner die than cut out a piece of your own heart.

I start to finish up on Misty. My lips gently brush against hers. It last longer than anything between humans has a right to. The climb down is exhausting. Some part of her will always be mine. But Entropy is my bride. She is insane and I will never truly love any other woman.

By: Fabian Chacon

Doctor...

2006-12-27T16:41:00.012-07:00

Lose the blue buttons on my blouse,
drop my bra to the floor,
rub your warm body on mine,
examine my body against yours.

Cure my dry lips,
cure my thirst with your breath,
cure my lonely bed.

Wet my breasts with your tongue
and feel my temperature rise like fever.
Check my pulse
beating at high speed
like a roadrunner.

Burn your jeans,
throw away mine
and give me that pill
that takes me
on a roller coaster ride.

By: Olga Lydia Chacon

Jenny

2006-12-27T16:41:00.009-07:00

Uncle Bob
ripped a part
Jenny's clothes,
threw them
under the trees
into the dirt,
forced
his dirty old penis
into my sister's vagina.
He left her
beaten
bruised
bleeding
for three weeks
out in the cold.

Policemen found
Jenny's little body
covered
with mud
with weeds
with maggots
with yellow leaves.

I pray
for that animal
to stay locked up in its cage.
I wake up
in the middle
of the night
staring
at the ceiling.
My skin shivers
at the idea
of closing my eyes again-
I hear little Jenny screaming,
"mommy, mommy"
then calling out my name,
"Sally, Sally."

By: Olga Lydia Chacon

Crucifixion

2006-12-27T16:41:00.007-07:00

By: Sergio Chacon

She Buddha

2006-12-27T16:41:00.006-07:00

By: Sergio Chacon

The Three Amigas

2006-12-27T16:41:00.005-07:00

By: Sergio Chacon

Confessions

2006-12-27T16:41:00.000-07:00

Behind a pulpit
I talk about God
spreading his love
when there isn’t
any in my life.

I tell men they’ll
burn in hell for drinking
when I don’t survive
three days without having
a bottle of tequila
on my kitchen table.

I tell my people
to study the holy book,
when I don’t read it anymore.
"Believe what it says," I tell them
while I spend nights and nights
reading Ingersoll who wrote
about the church teaching us
that God is happy
when we are miserable.

I pretend to listen
to women crying
about their husbands
sharing a bed
with a younger woman
while I think of
the playboy magazines
under my bed.

I have usher boys
picking up donations
for the poor—
every time
we’re alone
behind the altar,
I touch their penises
and place their hands
on mine.

After every sermon,
the crowd stands up, applauds
and some even kiss my hand—
I feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins,
I crave this power.
I won’t stop
lying,
condemning,
pretending to listen…

No, I won’t stop preaching.

By: Olga L. Chacon